Trigger warning: This article contains details of baby loss
Gary Barlow has opened up about the death of his daughter a decade ago, saying that it is a 'scar' he is going to live with for the rest of his life.
The 51-year-old Take That star debuted his one-man show, A Different Stage, in London’s West End at the Duke of York's Theatre, where he reflected on his life and career with the audience.
In August 2012, Gary and his wife Dawn had revealed that their daughter Poppy was stillborn, and now the pop star has shared the heartbreaking details about their loss.
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"It's August 2012, Dawn has gone for a last-minute check-up, only four days to go, we're all so excited," he began.
"Name is on the nursery, Moses basket, cot, clothes all over the floor waiting for the main player to arrive.
"Dawn calls and something's wrong, now this is one of those phone calls where you live a lifetime in a second."
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"We all have coping mechanisms," he continued. "Back there was the bulimia and the hallelujahs in the toilet."
He also spoke candidly about how he coped, adding: "I'm not saying just having a run is going to cure it, but those were my coping mechanisms, I dealt with this by turning into bloody Inspector Gadget.
"OK everybody, 'what to do' lists, peak to the doctors, tick, clothes for the hospital, tick, somewhere for the kids to go, tick, the only problem is Inspector Gadget doesn't have a gizmo for this.
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"It was like someone sitting in our house and saying, 'The journey you are about to take is going to end in a car crash', then sadly handing you the keys."
Dawn was then induced, and the moment Poppy was born 'light filled the room'.
They were only given an hour to spend with their daughter and Gary admitted to doing 'anything to try and extend the time'.
"Over that next hour we took turns nursing her, cuddling her, having pictures taken with her, hands, footprints, just anything to try and extend those short 60 minutes.
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"But the nurse came and told us our time was up, we kissed her goodbye and off she went."
Gary added: "I found myself back in that familiar place, not knowing any of the words or where to stand, nor what to say.
"I needed to accept this wasn't a scar that was going to heal with time, this was a scar I was going to die with."
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At the time, Gary released a short statement after the devastated couple lost Poppy.
"Our focus now is giving [Poppy] a beautiful funeral and loving our three children with all our hearts. We'd ask at this painful time that our privacy be respected," the statement read.
One week later, Gary joined his Take That bandmates at the London 2012 Olympic Games Closing Ceremony to perform ‘Rule the World’, which drew praise from across the world for his strength.
If you need support and advice following a pregnancy loss, you can contact the Tommy’s team at [email protected]. You can also call them for free on 0800 014 7800 (Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm).
Gregory Robinson