Louise Thompson has opened up about the physical and mental struggle she has faced since welcoming her little boy, Leo-Hunter Libbey, last year.
Louise, 31, was kept in hospital for a month after doctors 'saved her life' following serious complications during Leo's birth. As a result of the traumatic experience, Louise has been fighting depression, anxiety and PTSD.
In a post shared on Monday evening, the new mum updated followers on how she's been doing, explaining her brain is 'deleting memories' to 'protect itself'.
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"If I could use a few words to describe the past month they would be: SCARED, CONFUSED, PARALYSED, AND TOTALLY OUT OF CONTROL," said Louise.
"My brain 🧠 keeps deleting memories in order to try and protect itself and it’s so scary. Trauma and fear have no understanding of time. I remember a therapist told me that a few months ago and I didn't understand what she meant. Now I do.
"Extremely scary circumstances get trapped in your brain as a fight or flight response and they don't get processed like other memories. They don't leave with time. They get trapped in your subconscious."
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Louise told followers she's "not even close to feeling like a normal person yet" but felt she was able to talk a little more about how she's been doing.
The former Made in Chelsea star went on to list some of the ways in which she's been struggling, taking from notes she has been making during her recovery.
At the end of the list, she added: "I have learnt a lot over the past 1/2 year. I used to watch fires on tv and not relate, now I understand the trauma. I used to hear about ptsd after war or abuse, now I understand the trauma. It is not as easy as 'you survived the past, so now you live'."
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Shortly before Louise and fiancé Ryan Libbey welcomed Leo, the pair were caught in a devastating fire at Louise's mum's house, where they had been staying while their own home was undergoing renovations.
“A big wake up call as to what is really important in life," Louise said at the time.
Louise finished her post with some positive news, explaining she is "starting to see a glimmer of hope".
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"I have quite a lot of people, processes and medication to thank for that. I will share more as I start to feel a bit more compos mentis," she added.
"What I want to remind anyone that is suffering is to KEEP BLOODY GOING. It can and will get better. Crisis teams and medication can help. Don't be too proud to ask for HELP."
If you have been affected by the content of this article, you can find help, support and advice at Mind.
Lucy Devine