Hayden Panettiere has opened up about the heartbreaking physical effect her brother’s death had on her.
The 35-year-old Bring It On star has bravely discussed how she responded following the sudden loss of Jansen, who passed away at 28 last year from an enlarged heart coupled with aortic valve complications.
She confessed she'll 'always be heartbroken' following the monumental loss, adding that she'll 'never get over it' no matter how many years go by.
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Speaking to PEOPLE about the grieving process, Hayden explained: "He was my only sibling, and it was my job to protect him. When I lost him, I felt like I lost half of my soul.
"I will always be heartbroken about [him], I will never be able to get over it. No matter how many years go by, I will never get over his loss."
She also shared the physical toll the loss took on her health, saying she 'ballooned' after gaining 40 pounds.
"I just ballooned out," the Scream actor said. "It didn't matter what I did, what I ate. I know stress and cortisol running through your body can do that.
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"Now I think my body was protecting itself, shielding itself from the world."
The paparazzi only made an already extremely difficult period even harder with Hayden continuing: "I had to see horrific paparazzi pictures of myself coming out of Jansen’s funeral, which happened in a very private place, and it was shocking.
"I didn't recognise myself. My agoraphobia came out, which is something I’ve struggled with in the past."
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Fortunately, things eased slightly when Hayden was introduced to celebrity trainer Marnie Alton, who helped the her regain 'control' of her physical health once again after taking 'long, beautiful walks' where the pair would vent.
"It would be this therapy session," the mum-of-one added. "She empowered me."
She carried on: "My body just started reacting, not just from the working out. It allowed me to release the stress, the high expectations I’d always put on myself."
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After letting go of the 'high expectations', Hayden's agoraphobia fortunately faded: "There’s nothing like looking in the mirror and feeling like you look good enough to walk out the door."
The actor has since got back into her career with the premiere of her latest film, Amber Alert, premiering later this month (27 September).
"It's nice being back," Hayden told the outlet. "I waited for a while to make sure I was making the right choice about what project I was going to do first.
"I got an amazing new team who I love and I could recreate what I wanted to see my career path be."
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If you have experienced a bereavement and would like to speak with someone in confidence, contact Cruse Bereavement Care via their national helpline on 0808 808 1677.
Topics: Celebrity, Health, Mental Health
Rhiannon Ingle