Ex-Mormon reveals real reason ‘soft swinging’ can be so common in their community
A former member of the Mormon church has revealed why 'soft swinging' can be so 'prevalent' in the community.
For those who have been watching the new Hulu show, The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, you might have heard people talking about 'soft swinging'.
The show, which you can watch on Disney+, follows the lives of eight Mormon influencers and discusses the fallout of a ‘swinging’ scandal which took place a few years ago.
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One of the women at the centre of this was Taylor Frankie Paul, who took to TikTok a couple of years ago to explain that she was divorcing her husband, Tate Paul, after claiming she and her spouse had been engaging in ‘soft swinging’.
At the time, Frankie explained how it worked on TikTok, explaining the 'rules' they had agreed to.
“Soft swinging is when you do other things but you don’t go all the way," she said. “That’s what happened with us.
“The agreement was, we could do anything... as long as we were in front of each other and on the same page, it was fine."
Following the release of the show, Alyssa Grenfell - who left the church back in 2017 - has discussed the concept of 'soft swinging' on her YouTube channel, explaining why it happens and how common it really is.
"Swinging, in my opinion, is actually prevalent in Mormon culture especially in Utah," said Alyssa. "These women are getting married as young as 16, straight into childbirth... a lot of the men getting married around 20, 21... very early marriages and then when they find themselves in unhappy marriages they then try to resort to swinging to try and stay married.
"Getting divorced and breaking up a temple marriage is a really big deal within Mormonism so they resort to swinging as a way to have their cake and eat it too."
When it comes to 'soft swinging', Alyssa also explained why the 'Mormon loophole' exists.
"In the same way people talk about soaking as a Mormon loophole, they are also engaging in loopholes surrounding open relationships and swinging where they're saying because we're not going all the way we still feel we're not as jealous, or it's okay because we're not breaking the cardinal rule of having true infidelity outside of marriage," she explained.
"In a Mormon context of following so many rules your whole life, coming up with these loopholes allows you to engage in enough cognitive dissonance [to] enjoy your swinging without feeling like you need to leave the church."
Topics: Sex and Relationships, TV And Film, The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives
Lucy Devine