Why Do I Keep Dreaming About My Ex? An Expert Explains All
Having dreams about an ex-partner can certainly be an unnerving and confusing experience.
Whether you've ended things on good terms or deleted, blocked and pushed them aside for good, having dreams about an ex-partner can be an unnerving and confusing experience.
However, you'll be happy to realise that dreaming of an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend doesn't necessarily mean you're subconsciously missing them. So, what does it mean if your former partner does pop up in your dreams?
We've enlisted the help of psychic and dreams expert, Inbaal Honigman, thanks to MattressNextDay, to help de-code all your ex dream woes, at last.
Why am I dreaming about an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend?
There may be a few different dream scenarios in which your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend might be popping up:
Dreaming of an ex from years ago:
Let's say an ex from 10 years ago has made have made an appearance in your dreams. If this happens, it's likely that you're reflecting on what could have been, Honigman says.
"If you dream of an ex from a long time ago, this is a sign that you are wondering about your missed opportunities of youth.
"Perhaps you feel that you should have taken a different path in life, from the career you picked to the area you live in. If these decisions are connected to your long-gone ex, this may be why they are on your brain."
The psychic adds that once you wake up, you should 'check whether you feel fearful or serene' - this will give you a good idea of whether or not your past choices are currently filling you with joy.
Dreaming of a recent ex:
Maybe you recently broke things off with your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend and things are still a bit sensitive. So, it'll be reassuring to know that this kind of dream is extremely natural and common.
"Whilst you thought you were over your ex, this dream may have you thinking that you're maybe not," Honigman explains.
"But you should remove that fear - there's a reason you dreamt of that person," and it may not necessarily be because you miss them, you may just be missing the company.
"If you are now single, you're just missing having someone to hold. Even if that ex was bad news, the need for love is a natural human desire, and you miss having somebody in your life and in your bed."
Dreaming of an ex apologising:
If you never got closure at the end of your relationship, a dream about your ex saying sorry is your mind's way of subconsciously putting an end to those unfinished feelings and perhaps giving you the apology which you thought you deserved.
Honigman says: "An apology in a dream is your mind's way of bringing peace to a turbulent situation. Your sleeping subconscious is going over unfinished stories from the past.
"If this love story ended badly, and the other person never took responsibility for their actions, your mind still craves that apology. And at least in the dream, your ex is mature enough to deliver one!"
Dreaming of getting back with your ex:
There's no need to overthink this one. If you're dreaming about getting back with your ex, it could be because your subconscious does miss them.
"Sometimes the most obvious answer is the correct answer, and the feeling that you'd like this person nearby is neither wrong nor shameful - the heart wants what the heart wants," Honigman said.
However, it's important to note whether this dream is just a fantasy, or whether you should actually decide to pursue your feelings in real life.
"The first clue will come from the dream," Honigman added. "Try to decipher how realistic it is - did your ex display the same characteristics in your dream as they used to in real life? Did it bring you joy or discomfort to feel that you're back together?"
Dreaming of having sex with your ex:
Thankfully, dreaming about having sex with your ex isn't usually because you're thinking about them how good they were in bed. It may actually be because your subconscious is putting your physical needs first.
"At night when you're asleep, your dreams stem from your mind. So, if your body is going through a bit of a drought and you've not enjoyed a physical connection with anybody for a while, then the perfectly human and healthy desire to embrace will transcend body and mind and burst right into your dream," Hongiman explains.
The psychic also admitted that "there is no shame in having physical desires, and it's certainly natural to act upon them in a dream."
Dreaming of your ex cheating on you:
Dreaming of your ex cheating on you can be one of the most upsetting dreams about an ex to have, particularly if infidelity was a reason why you broke up in the first place.
Honigman notes: "One of the most upsetting love-related dreams one can have is where cheating occurs. The sense of betrayal, shame and hopelessness that go along with infidelity can ruin a good night's sleep.
"If you dream of an ex-partner cheating, you might be trying to make sense of the split. You could be worried that their loyalty was never for you, and you may be suspicious that they were cheating in real life too."
However, it's important to note that this dream will be a reflection of 'your own insecurities' rather than any unfaithful intentions or actions from your ex.
Dreaming about an ex while in a relationship:
Although a dream about an ex, while you're in a new relationship, could be enough to trigger thoughts about whether your new partner is the right one, Honigman tells Tyla it is actually a 'normal' and 'positive' sign.
"Instead of holding on to negative emotions, resentments and unexpressed arguments from the past, your subconscious mind is processing them all during your sleep hours."
She added: "If those emotions went unchallenged, you may still be holding on to them throughout the new relationship, and ruining the beautiful love story which you're about to start."
Whatever dreams you may encounter about your ex, the dream expert recommends to 'let the dreams be.'
"Don't try to control them and don't feel guilty for having them." They are normal, after all.
Featured Image Credit: Claudia Wolff/Vladislav Muslakov on UnsplashTopics: Sex & Realtionships, Sleep, Dreams, Health
Gabriella Ferlita