A mum has been criticised after revealing family members aren’t allowed to hug her two kids, having shared a set of restrictions she has for her children.
Loren Cash, 25, has enforced a list of rules on her two kids, ranging from a ban on sleepovers to no iPads for ‘as many years as possible’.
She believes they ‘protect’ her family, having doubled down on her approach after social media accused her of putting the little ones in ‘parent prison’.
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Loren, who is mum to Nova, two, and Luna, five months, decided to bring in the restrictions after worrying about her children’s safety, having seen reports of youngster being harmed when they’re away from their parents.
“There are so many incidents out there of people mistreating kids when the parents aren’t there and at this age, my daughters are too young to say if anything happened so it’s not a risk I’m willing to take,” she said.
“We’re in a position where we’d rather keep Nova at home with her baby sister where we know she’s safe.”
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Loren, from Birmingham, refuses to send her kids to nursery or sleepovers, and is hesitant to let family members take her daughters out for the day if they haven’t spent much time with the girls previously.
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She has been slammed online for ‘overprotective parenting’, with one person telling her: "You shouldn't have so much distrust in the world, your girls will inherit this and have trust issues."
Another said: "Agree with some of these but it sounds like you're keeping them in a prison.
But Loren stands by the system she’s brought in, saying: “I do more than enough activities with her at home that nursery isn’t something [Nova] needs, we always make it fun with things like messy play so she can still enjoy herself whilst she learns.
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“The number of things I’ve seen about nursery workers and some people harming the kids, I know it’s not every nursery but it’s not something I’m willing to chance.
“I know there are some nurseries that have CCTV that parents can watch from home, if that was possible for us then I’d consider the idea of it.
“Out of school, there’s an issue with sleepovers. I don’t trust other people’s households, you never know what happens outside of your own house so I wouldn’t want my girls to sleep anywhere without me or her dad.
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“I don’t think Luna or Nova missing out on anything because we do everything with them that they’d experience anywhere else.”
Others have also questioned what will happen when the girls go to school, to which Loren explains they will be given a normal schooling experience but will not be forced to go if they ever feel uncomfortable.
She continued: “No means no with family too. If a family member wants to hug one of the girls then it needs to be the girl’s choice, they deserve to have their own voice.
“My mom always wants to hug and kiss her grandkids, but I tell her they’re not to kiss and if they don’t want to be touched then she should respect it.
“I’m not worried about her getting attachment issues because it takes her a long time to warm up to people which is why we don’t necessarily let family members take her out either.
“I know family members always look after people’s kids but for us, if my daughter isn’t comfortable around that person then she’s not going anywhere with them.
“We’ll find a way around it if there’s no one to take care of her, I don’t want a break from my child.
“My family have said that my choices are too strict, they don’t fully agree with things, but they do try to understand where I’m coming from.”
Loren's restrictions include:
- Not to go with family members until they've met them at least 5 times and are comfortable
- No sleepovers
- No nursery
- No iPad for as many years as possible No hugs or kisses from family
- Never shout at them when they do something wrong
- Never make my children share
- Shorts under dresses always
- If you tell my children to keep a secret from me, I'll never trust you with them
Loren’s mom, Lesa Jones, 52, said she thinks her daughter is a ‘good mother’, but doesn’t like the way family members aren’t allowed to ‘kiss and hug the girls’.
“It is a little upsetting for me that I can’t have my grandkids overnight, they’re my grandkids at the end of the day and I’d love to see them more than I’m allowed to,” she said.
“Loren has never left them at all, she’s used to having them 24/7 so she’s just worried about how they’d be without her.
“I don’t agree with Nova not going to nursery because I think she needs that social interaction but it’s not my choice.”
Jess Hardiman