Woman debates calling off wedding as fiancé refuses to have a vasectomy

A bride-to-be has taken to the internet to ask whether she should call off her wedding because her fiancé refuses to have a vasectomy.

The 27-year-old woman shared her story on the British parenting forum Mumsnet to explain she had already had one grueling pregnancy and didn’t want to go through it again.

Both the woman and her partner agreed they didn’t want to have any more children and want to prioritise the child they already have, but he doesn’t want to get the snip because it’s ‘too permanent’ a decision.

She was relieved that they were ‘on the same page’.

The woman explained: “Without getting into details I had a horrible birth and pregnancy, and have been told that if I have a second I will have an increased risk of getting certain illnesses.”

The bride-to-be is so concerned about her partner deciding against getting a vasectomy that she no longer wants to have sex with him in case she might fall pregnant again.

Mumsnet users argued that the woman’s partner has every right to turn down a vasectomy because it’s his body and therefore his choice.

The woman said that it is easier for her husband to get a vasectomy than it would be for her to get tubal ligation and after he refused, she stressed that contraception is not always effective.

She is now worried that her partner of five years may have a change of heart because he refused to get a vasectomy.

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Mumsnet users came to the man’s defence, with one person writing: “I'm usually all for men having [a] vasectomy but 27 with one child is very young.”

Another reader shared: “It is his body his choice. But it would put me off marriage.”

A third user commented: “'If it means this much to you, you will have to pursue sterilisation.”

While a fourth declared: “You can call off your wedding for any reason you like.

But if your aim is to somehow guilt him into life-changing surgery that he does not want, then you are acting despicably.”

Someone did come to the bride-to-be’s defence, writing: “'Yes 27 is 'young' but you're in a serious relationship with children and have previously discussed this and was assured your partner's views on this aligned with yours," she said.

“Now he is backtracking - his choice of course, but it's incredibly frustrating for you, as you don't want to put your body through that risk - that's also your body, your choice. As a loving partner he shouldn't want to put you at risk like that.

“You're the mother of his child, he needs to put you first on this, especially considering what you have given him, and presumably years of the contraception onus being on you.

“A vasectomy is a WAY easier and less intrusive procedure, than female sterilization is. If he can't jump on board with this, I don't think the relationship can continue, which is such a shame, but it's him that's changed the goal posts.”