Women who use dating apps are being warned over a new toxic dating trend which is seeing a rise in popularity — ‘ghostlighting’.
Navigating the world of dating can be a minefield, especially when you could find yourself stuck in the ‘Ben stage’, experiencing the need to guardrail for the first time, or being a homebody and falling for someone who only wants some wanderlove.
However, there’s a new trend which is forcing women to stay vigilant in their pursuit of love.
Hopefully, you are not someone who has experienced ghostlighting. But if you are, then you will already know how devastating it can be.
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Unfortunately, you have been a victim of ghostlighting if someone who you have recently been having romantic relations with disappears and eventually goes silent on you.
You will be unable to call, text, or maybe even LinkedIn stalk your former flame for a period of time. Essentially, you’ll be made to go cold turkey on communication.
By utilising the deadly combination of ‘ghosting’ and ‘gaslighting’, your ex-lover will cease to exist before eventually returning to your life and acting as if nothing is wrong.
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According to the crowdsourced English-language dictionary website, Urban Dictionary, ghostlighting is: “A hybrid of ghosting and gaslighting.
“Ceasing all communication with someone and then, when they attempt to contact you, pretending like you have no idea who they are or what they are talking about.”
According to psychologist Dr Rina Bajaja, those who ghostlight often withhold information from their partners and tend to twist the truth.
She also says that ghostlighters often turn to threats or cause fear so that they to keep their relationships in their desired states.
Unfortunately, those who participate in this negative dating tactic rarely feel remorse and usually blame their ex for the eventual break-up.
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If you believe that you or a friend could have been a victim of ghostlighting, here are some tips for protecting yourself and moving on:
1. Remember that you are not the cause of this emotional manipulation and that none of this is your fault.
2. Make sure your loved ones are clued up on what has been going on and are there to provide a safe space. They should be relied upon to give validation of your recent experiences.
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3. If ghostlighting has affected your mental well-being, be sure to reach out to a therapist and work together to rebuild the boundaries which have been recently torn apart.
4. Remember that you are deserving of love and affection and that not every future flame will act in the same way.
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Life, Real Life, Social media
Ella Scott