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Topics: Sex and Relationships, Real Life, True Life
Rhianna Benson
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Real Life, True Life
'It's all part of the job' - an excuse you'd expect an employee to give their eye-rolling partner after working overtime for the third day in a row.
In the case of sex therapist Kaly Miller, however, when her other-half was dealt the same excuse after she revealed she'd slept with over 400 of her clients, he reacted in a pretty surprising way.
Prior to training in intimacy counselling, 52-year-old Miller had worked predominantly as a remedial sports massage therapist.
Several years ago, however, she came across an advert for an 'open-minded body worker', later discovering that the employer in question was actually seeking someone to serve as a surrogate partner.
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On learning this, Miller recently told press: "I was not expecting it. I don’t think anyone sits at home and says, 'I’m going to be a surrogate partner'.
"I think everyone is taken on a journey."
Intrigued, she agreed and began working immediately with a client in his 60s, who'd endured sexual struggles his whole adult life.
Miller been in a full-fledged, loving relationship at the time she took up her new role, but refused to let this stand in the way of bringing in some extra cash.
Explaining the background of her first case, she reflected: "At that point, [the client] liked going round to the corner shop to pay with coins because the only touch they ever had was when they paid the cashier and brushed hands.
"He used to look out of the window, and this woman that passed by, and he would imagine [being in love] but never quite ever having the experience, or the confidence, or the experience to move forward."
As laid out in the role's expectations, Miller's side-hustle didn't just see her listening to her new clients, but engaging in sexual activities with them, so as to reintroduce them slowly to the world of physical touch.
After working with her first client for over a year, she says the gentleman was finally able to overcome his fear of physical intimacy, and later formed a long-term relationship.
The experience spurred Miller to open her own independent practice, which she called 'The Naked Room', charging £250 per hour-long session.
Since then, she's worked with around 400 clients, many of whom she admitted to sleeping with in a bid to see their long-term recovery from sexual trauma.
Despite no longer being in a relationship with her original partner, Miller claimed her ex was more than supportive of this aspect of her job. She insisted they understood her work, and could not 'question what I’m doing', because 'my journey is their journey'.
Miller added that her parents and children are on the same page, and are all her 'number one fans'.
Perhaps it's the protective measures she put into place that ensured their support, given that Miller hosts a no-cost 'exploratory' Zoom call with potential clients, so as to check if she'd feel comfortable in their presence.
If they received the go-ahead, they'd meet with Miller at a hotel of her own choice, where she'd feel safe.
In terms of sexual safety, she'd also have potential clients provide proof of a recent STI test, and sign clear consent forms.
"My safety is paramount," she explained. "I have a tracking device on my phone and always check in with a friend or family member when I get home."