If you've ever been cheated on in a relationship, you might have noticed some tell-tale warning signs in the weeks or months prior.
Or maybe you never noticed anything was amiss at all?
In hindsight, there can often be some pretty huge red flags. After all, it's probably not totally normal to be *that* cagey with your phone, or to take every single phone call in private.
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Despite the signs, it can be hard to come to terms with the fact that your partner could be being unfaithful.
And then there's confronting them and potentially having to walk away from the relationship.
Discussing the red flags that were a huge clue in their own relationships, nine people who have all been cheated on recalled their experiences to SELF, explaining they wished they'd taken note of the signs.
Lack of intimacy
One woman explained that her partner suddenly stopped wanting to have sex, after he returned from a holiday to Spain.
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They spent every night together when he was home, but he continuously wanted to go to bed early.
Turns out he'd cheated on her during the trip, which she believes explains his odd behaviour.
Overprotective of their phone
One man said his ex was constantly changing her passcodes and was fiercely protective of her phone.
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She'd also make up excuses for why he couldn't borrow it and would always have it facing down on the table.
False accusations
Shortly before finding out her ex had been cheating on her for six months, one woman explained he was constantly paranoid about whether she'd been unfaithful to him.
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"For example, he made me unfollow all of my exes on Instagram and he hated it when I hung out with my male friends—a major red flag," she said.
Guilt tripping
One woman has recalled how her ex told her he loved her on the same night he cheated on her.
But when she accused him of being unfaithful, he'd make her feel super guilty for even asking, making comments like 'you’re really going to trust people you don’t know over me?'
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Suddenly showering your partner with gifts
One woman recalled how her ex started showering her with gifts after he cheated.
"Instead of these gestures making me happy, the only emotion I felt in the pit of my stomach was sickness," she said.
"I knew something was wrong. It was as if he was overcompensating for something.
Eventually, his ex reached out to me and asked if we were dating. Turns out, he was hooking up with her behind my back and told her we had broken up (which was a lie)."
Your partner having friends who have also cheated
Is it a red flag if your SO's mates have been cheating on their partners?
Well, for one woman it was.
Apparently, her ex's best friend had cheated on his fiancée and nobody seemed to have a problem with it.
"Another similar concern: he would listen to Instagram reels and YouTube videos of problematic influencers who justified infidelity and encouraged men to cheat," she added.
Keeping your partner a secret online
One man said he became concerned when his ex refused to acknowledge that he existed on social media.
He later found out she'd been messaging other guys online.
Having an emotional affair
After 'avoiding all the tell-tale signs', one woman explained that she always felt like the odd-one-out when they were with one of his female friends.
She'd had a gut feeling for months and later found out he'd been having an 'emotional affair' with the woman.
Ignoring phone calls
One woman explained a major red flag was her partner never answering the phone on the first ring, followed by rubbish excuses when they finally did get in touch.
Turns out, he had another girlfriend at the same university where they were studying at.
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Advice, Mental Health
Lucy Devine