A psychologist has revealed the nine signs that you’re with the right partner, having drawn on his experience counselling couples to identify the core strengths of a ‘satisfying and loving relationship’.
We all know that every relationship is different, meaning some things that work for one couple might not serve in the same way for another.
Many people might really value sustained time together with their other half, while others might find they work better if they have a bit of time apart now and again.
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Some may like to split chores equally down the middle, knowing that others will have their own systems for who does what around the house.
However, Jeffrey Bernstein, author of Why Can’t You Read My Mind, believes there are a set of key ‘shared values and common goals’ that will always help build a sense of unity, regardless of how you do things day-to-day.
Writing for Psychology Today, he shared a list of nine things that help a relationship ‘thrive’, explaining how it comes down to the following principles:
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1. Communication
According to Bernstein, ‘open and honest communication’ is ‘essential’ for a fulfilling relationship.
“If you and your partner can express your thoughts, feelings, and needs without fear of judgment, that's a positive sign,” he said.
2. Emotional Connection
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Feeling emotionally connected as a couple is ‘crucial’, Bernstein said, adding that those who have a ‘deep sense of understanding, support, and intimacy’ with their partner will find their relationship is ‘likely fulfilling’.
3. Respect
“Respect is essential,” the expert continued, saying that, if both of you respect one another’s boundaries, opinions and individuality, then it contributes to a ‘healthy and fulfilling’ relationship.
Without it, ‘you know what happens’.
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4. Shared Values and Goals
Bernstein says shared values and common goals ‘help create a sense of unity’, because if two partners align on ‘fundamental’ aspects of life, a relationship can often feel more fulfilling.
5. Supportive Environment
“A fulfilling relationship provides a supportive environment,” Bernstein said, adding that if your partner ‘encourages your personal growth’ and ‘is there for you during challenges’, it’s a ‘gift that keeps on giving’.
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6. Physical Intimacy
Bernstein sees physical intimacy as an ‘important’ part of many romantic relationships, saying it’s all down to both partners feeling happy with the level they have and if they’re feeling a ‘connection’ through it.
7. Quality Time
The psychologist said spending quality time with one another is ‘vital’ in a relationship.
"If you both prioritize and enjoy spending time with each other, it adds to the overall satisfaction of the relationship,” he said.
8. Balance of Independence
While aspects like quality time are key, so is leaving room for ‘individual growth and independence’.
If both partners maintain their own interests, while also supporting one other's pursuits, Bernstein says it can ‘contribute to a well-rounded connection’.
9. Conflict Resolution
Finally, how you handle conflicts is something that Bernstein also sees as ‘significant’, telling us: “If you and your partner can navigate disagreements respectfully and find solutions together, it indicates a healthy relationship.”
According to Bernstein, when couples focus on ‘what works well’, it helps keep their ‘loving fire burning’.
He added that if you see your relationship displaying ‘a good deal of’ the traits above, it suggests it is both emotionally satisfying and ‘healthy’.
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Advice, Life
Jess Hardiman