Child expert shares simple tip for parents to stop toddlers having a tantrum

Dealing with tantrums is all part and parcel of being a parent, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try to make your life easier.

Now, one child expert has revealed three ways you can get your child to calm down when they are on the verge of a dreaded meltdown.

Former nanny Laura Amies, 39, shared the tips on TikTok and opened up to SWNS about the psychology behind them.

She explained in another video that if your child cries for an iPad and you give them the iPad, it will only result in more screaming.

The video asked: "If screaming results in a positive outcome, why would they stop screaming?"

Discussing what's happening in the child's mind, Laura told the news outlet: "When you're in that moment, when the child is having an emotional breakdown, it can be a difficult time for parents, too.

"They go into fight or flight mode - it makes it impossible for them to think logically.

"In that moment when a child is displaying challenging behaviours, that can lead to quick or impromptu reactions, or can result in quick fixes.

"They just want to stop the tears - so they give the child the iPad."

SWNS

The former nanny explained that while giving the child the iPad might solve the problem at that moment, it is only laying the foundations for more trouble down the line.

She said: "There's always some kind of trigger. Here, the trigger for the tantrum is that they want the iPad and they don't have it.

"After this, they'll go into the bargaining phase - where they begin pleading for the thing they want.

"If the trigger remains, they move into the next phase - escalation.

"That's the screaming, aggression, throwing things - the typical tantrum.

"In this phase, most parents give in so the child will settle down. The child is given what they want."

Laura said that a better way to deal with a triggered child is to calm them down emotionally by, for example, giving them a hug.

This is what's known as the soothing stage - or tip, if you prefer.

The second stage involves giving the child time to accept that they can't get what they are asking for.

The third and final stage from the viral nanny is detachment - when the child eventually simply moves on from what was upsetting them.

SWNS

While Laura acknowledges that it can be difficult for parents to go through these three stages, she stresses that it's worth the effort.

Laura said: "It's very difficult, not many people will allow their child to get to the detachment phase.

"But it's important because the more they get there, the more patience, resilience, tolerance and understanding they develop.

"These are the things that help you get through life. You can develop more rounded coping skills to deal with the world we live in."