A woman has sparked a debate online after revealing she kicked her best friend out of her baby shower, having prompted a huge discussion about 'etiquette' with such events.
While a baby shower is meant to be a happy, uplifting day celebrating a mum and her unborn baby, as with any group gathering, they’re all too often hit with the difficult politics that come with putting on an event.
One woman found this out the hard way after finding she had to kick her friend out of hers, having laid out a clear rule before the big day.
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Taking to Reddit’s ‘Am I The A**hole’ forum, the 24-year-old explained how her ‘close friend’, named in the post as ‘Sara’, had recently ‘blown off’ plans or cancelled last minute after she started dating a man called ‘Ted’ – in turn making them distant from one another.
The new couple had only been together for a month, and the Redditor said she’d only met Ted ‘briefly once’, but that Sara often bailed on plans to hang out with Ted instead.
“This upset me, as I moved further away for my husband’s job, so us meeting up isn’t a last minute plan, and made weeks beforehand as I’m far but also pregnant so I have to find public transport as my husband takes the car to work,” she said.
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“After Sara flaked a second time to hang out with Ted, I told her how I felt about her blowing me off and Sara apologised and offered to help plan my baby shower to make up for it.”
Sara, who is an events planner, ‘took care of everything’, having been sent an ‘all-girl guest list’ to let her know how many people to cater for.
“My sister helped, and I made it clear to both of them to add on the invites no partners, except one of my friend Amy’s invite as she is gay and I wanted her girlfriend to come,” the woman added.
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However, when the shower came around, the woman was stunned to see that Sara had brought Ted.
“I pulled Sara aside to say politely we don’t have enough food for Ted, and she insisted they could share off the same plate,” she continued.
“I got upset and then my sister asked Sara if she could ask Ted to leave, but Sara said if Ted left she would too so I kicked them both out.
“My baby shower after was ok then, but I missed Sara for most of it.”
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The next day, she had a message from Sara saying she felt upset for being kicked out of the party after being ‘embarrassed’ in front of their friends.
She also had a text from Ted, who’d been given the number by Sara, saying he thought he had been welcome because Amy’s partner was invited.
In the comments, many people could see why the Reddit user was upset, although one commented: “I think OP should’ve been honest and told them the shower was for women only once Ted arrived, not a fake reason that there wasn’t enough food for Ted.”
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But someone else hit back: “Who says it was a fake reason? If it were catered, or a plated lunch, there probably wasn't enough food. One of my baby showers was a plated lunch in a restaurant, paid in advance.”
A third said the woman was ‘not the a**hole’, adding: “In what world does someone think it's a good idea to bring their boyfriend to a women-only baby shower.”
Others pointed out that Sara, as an event planner, would have known the ‘etiquette’ for these types of events, while another said: “It’s also concerning how co dependent they are with each other. Like she can’t even go to a baby shower without him. That’s so weird.”
Jess Hardiman