Most of us have kept a thing or two from our parents, and it’s often for their own good, but as we all know, some secrets are a lot bigger than others.
Now, one man has taken to Reddit to share his dilemma after he had a daughter at 19 and kept her a secret from his parents for a whole 10 years.
Writing on Reddit’s ‘Am I the A**hole’ forum, where users ask whether or not they’re in the wrong, the man explained that he never wanted to have the child.
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However, he did offer to pay the child’s mother support if she went through with the pregnancy, which she did.
He wrote: “3 months ago when I was at work I received a lot of angry messages from my parents asking me if I have a child.
"Apparently my ex had told them everything because she is sick and wants someone to look after the kid since her own family refused to do this.”
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The man then explained that his parents were so upset because his daughter is their only grandchild and he’s an only child.
He wrote: "They agreed to look after her and brought her into our home (yes I live with my parents to help them with the expenses).”
He said that he was happy for the child to move into their home, but that he still didn't want to be her dad.
His parents agreed to this arrangement, but three months later, the man wrote, he was left with his daughter against his will.
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He said that the issue came to a head two days ago when his parents went out and left him to babysit, when he was, as ever, refusing.
His daughter annoyed him so he 'told her to go to her room and not to come out until her grandparents come home'.
He continued: “My parents came back and freaked out when they found out. They called me an AH for being a ‘horrible dad’ but I never wanted to be a dad and I made it clear several times.”
The people of Reddit were almost in unanimous agreement that the man was an a**hole for his actions.
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One wrote: “The child is a 10-year-old, her mother is apparently so unwell that she has to reach out to literal strangers to ensure her child gets care, and you can't even be civil for one afternoon.
“AND even if your parents shouldn't have to leave her alone with you, but have you considered how the kid feels?”
A second added: “OP never had to be a dad – even now. This kids mom was in the picture until the Grandparents stepped in when she is really old enough to fend for herself for the most part.
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“No changing diapers. No cleaning up vomit. No dressing her. He doesn't even have to feed her.
“He literally feels as though it is too much to just be nice to someone in the same home who is suffering.”
A third wrote: “Not wanting to be a dad is perfectly acceptable. Being so inhumane to a child in distress is not.
“He could have helped her in the moment, then had a long discussion with his parents when they got home. They are the ones who committed the ‘offence’ of leaving her with her bio dad without permission.
“Also, grandparents need a wake up call. Leaving a child with someone unfit or unwilling to watch them is deeply problematic.”
However, the man did have some supporters, including one Redditor who said that his decision not to be a father should have been respected.
One wrote: “NTA for not wanting anything to do with it. And for the people saying ‘it's just babysitting for a couple hours’. It really isn't. It's more and you know it.
“It's forcing a parent to be a parent and that has horrific psychological consequences. For the parent and the child.
“Now, for OP the solution is clear. Move out and let his parents be grandparents. You gonna lose contact with them. They prefer the grandchild to you. Realise that and deal accordingly.”
Topics: Sex and Relationships
Emma Guinness