A mum believes parents parents should buy their teenage kids a vibrator ‘if they ask for one’, arguing that it helps open up conversations about sex.
Sex positivity coach Emily Roach, 28, says a lot of children start accessing porn at the age of 11, meaning parents should begin teaching them about ‘realistic sex’ from a young age so that their views aren’t based on what they see in adult content.
She wants to help ‘bridge the gender pleasure gap’, encouraging women to steer away from any shame so that they can enjoy sex.
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Roach, from Ottawa, Canada, said: “We should approach sex in a more positive way - self-pleasure is extremely normal and healthy.”
The mum-of-three explained how another parent asked her what to do after their 13-year-old daughter asked for a vibrator, suggesting people explore suitable options with their teen while also discussing how to use sex toys safely and hygienically.
“If my 13-year-old daughter came to me and asked me to buy her vibrator I would be happy they trusted me enough to ask the question, and I would buy her one,” she said.
“We should have open conversations about such taboo subjects.
"If we don't talk to our children about sex, they will just find answers elsewhere.
“I want to help parents unlearn sex negativity - a feeling of shame and stigma related to having pleasurable sex."
Roach continued: “If my children ask me a question, I don’t lie about it.
“If they asked me what sex was, I would respond 'it is something grown-ups do together when they are trying to feel good or make babies'.”
Roach – who provides resources to parents on her TikTok @therealemilyroach - believes too many youngsters are having unprotected access to the internet too early, arguing that if they’re engaging with porn online, It's important to ‘make them aware it is not an accurate representation of sex’.
“I would lead them towards more ethical resources such as artsy adult films or audio resources and explain which providers are unethical and have featured victims of trafficking.”
She said there is a lot for women to unlearn if they’ve grown up in environments where sex is seen as a taboo subject.
“The biggest thing I had to unlearn was wanting to experience pleasure during sex - it wasn’t superficial or silly," Roach added.
“Until I met my husband, Rodney, when I was 19, I used to fake it - he questioned why I was doing it which allowed me to openly explore my pleasure.
“It helps to be intimate with a partner when you know yourself.
“We need to remove shame and stigma and normalise pleasure-based sex.”
Topics: Life, Sex and Relationships, Parenting
Jess Hardiman