A mum has spoken out about her ‘controversial’ parenting choice, having admitted she plans to never leave her daughter alone with a male – including close family members.
TikToker Aubz (@theorganicmami) posted a video on the platform recently to explain some of the boundaries she was setting for her daughter as a ‘young first-time mom’.
She wrote: “Controversial ways I’m raising my daughter... call me crazy IDC."
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The clip saw the mother speaking to the camera as she reeled off a list of specific things she did or did not want her daughter to do – including everything from not being forced to finish her food and not being made to kiss or hug relatives.
“No sleepovers, nope, not even with family members,” she said.
“She will never be left alone with a male. I don’t care if you’re the grandpa, the uncle or the cousin.
“I won’t treat my daughter differently than I treat my son. For instance, like me letting my son go out late, but not my daughter - because it’s too dangerous for a woman. I’m just gonna treat them both the same.
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“Secrets will not be kept from your parents, and if you’re one of those people now, saying ‘I’ll give you candy when your mom’s not here, just don’t tell her’, that’s the quickest way to never see us again.
“She doesn’t have to kiss you, hug you, sit on your lap or anything else just because you asked her to, and because you’re a relative and haven’t seen her in a long time.
“She doesn’t have to respect you if you don’t also respect her.”
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Aubz said that, as a child, her daughter will have ‘opinions and emotions’ and is ‘allowed to feel a certain way’, and would will be allowed to take ‘mental health days when needed’.
“We're not going to do a public school system that makes you sit at a desk for eight hours and not learn anything you really care about,” she continued.
“We will always use holistic methods before we resort to western medicine.
“I’m teaching her to stand up for herself, set boundaries and say no.
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“I'm not going to force her to share or force her to finish her plate of food.”
The mum also said she would never talk ‘poorly’ about herself in front of her daughter, nor would she make comments about her appearance of body image.
The lengthy list got people talking in the comments – with many people honing in on the same things.
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Criticising Aubz’s approach, one person wrote: “Had this childhood and when I turned 18 I wilded out and did a lot of things I regret bc I was so controlled growing up, don’t be this parent please.”
Someone else argued: “She won’t ever be allowed to have sleepovers with her friends? No judgement. Just those were some of my best childhood memories.”
A third added: “No sleepovers is wild, I hate that my mom never let me.”
But many people sided with her methods, with some even saying this was precisely what they were doing the exact same thing with their children.
One wrote: “Yes! That’s exactly how we’re doing my daughter.”
Someone else said: “This is exactly what I’m doing/plan to do with my son!”
A third wrote: “The no hugging thing! Thank you! I hated when my mom would force us to hug people I did not like. A lot of my relatives were mean to me as a child.”
To which Aubz replied: “That was always the worst. It’s a respect thing in Mexican culture because sometimes you just don’t want to give hugs or kisses and that’s okay.”
Jess Hardiman