A man has admitted he dumped his pregnant girlfriend as he never actually wanted to be a dad, saying he ‘refuses’ to stay for his child.
Many people use Reddit to get things off their chest, taking to the Am I the A**hole (AITA) forum to find out what others think about their various issues.
One post has gone viral after posing a particularly difficult predicament, as a bloke shared that he was about to become a dad even though he never wanted kids – and his ex knew it.
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He explained: “I never wanted to be a father. I'm the oldest of six kids and most of my childhood and teen years were spent being a third parent to my younger siblings.
“My ex girlfriend knew this from the start of our relationship in 2017. She said she was fine with it.
“Then at some point during the pandemic she got severe baby fever which she admitted probably happened because both her sister and best friend had their babies between late 2020 and mid 2021.
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“She said she didn't think she wanted to be a mom until then and her mind couldn't change back.
“I told her no but if this was something she felt strongly about we could break up and she could find a man who wants to be a father.”
The Reddit user said they went on a break for ‘a few months’, before she asked him to get back together.
“She said she had time to think and while still wanted to be a mom, would try to just be cool being an aunty,” he continued.
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“Then we move to mid 22 where she tells me she's pregnant, it's mine and she's not getting an abortion.
“I asked how and she admitted she'd been off her [birth control] for some time. I was furious.”
The man said his ex had their baby earlier this year, adding: “I just can't do it. I never wanted to be a dad.
“She knew this six years ago. I get that her mind changed but then she said she'd be chill about having a baby so I thought we would genuinely move past that. I expected it to come up again but not a pregnancy.
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“I've told her I'm leaving. I make good money and will pay child support. But I never wanted this.
“She didn't at first then she did then she went and did all of this to me. So now I'm looking like a massive A-Hole to everyone from friends to family to random people we're loosely acquainted with because I'm the dad who's ditching his child."
In an edit, he also explained how he chose not to have a vasectomy on the off chance that ‘something might change’ one day.
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“Essentially I never wanted to be a dad but like my gf's mind changed, I was always aware of the possibility that my mind could change at some point,” he said.
“People are complicated sometimes.”
People in the comments section were fairly divided, noting that it was a complex situation from both sides.
One person wrote: “Don't act surprised when ANYONE you sleep with gets pregnant. Sex leads to pregnancies.”
Someone else agreed: “Dude didn’t want to be a father. Why the f**k wasn’t he wrapping up? Like maybe he’s not the a**hole here because ex stopped using BC and didn’t tell him, but he certainly had a role in this.”
A third said he was ’not the a**hole’ in the situation, but added: “But you need to get a vasectomy.”
Listing out their three main takeaways, someone else commented: “1. If she essentially hid going off birth control that is massively s**t of her.
“2. If I was as hell bent as you seem about not having kids I would have gotten a vasectomy long ago, so i would significantly reduce the chances of an attempted baby trapping.
“3. If you decide to just pay child support and otherwise play no role in the child’s life, for the love of god, don't be that guy that gets old, has regrets and then tries to reconnect when the child is an adult.”
Topics: Reddit, Sex and Relationships, Parenting
Jess Hardiman