A woman has opened up about how she ended her marriage after learning her husband calls her ‘SWMBO’ in text messages, saying it felt like she’d been ‘slapped in the face’.
Many of us might have amusing pet names for our other halves – some more flattering than others, of course.
But sometimes those seemingly innocent nicknames can cause more harm than you might think, as proven by the fact that it recently led to divorce for one couple.
Writing anonymously on Mamamia, a woman said that the decision to leave her husband came when she read a text he sent someone.
Advert
She explained how there had been a ‘shift’ after their son, now two, was born.
“Nothing changed for my husband,” the woman said.
“He stayed in our marital bed whilst I moved into the nursery to do night duty with our son.
“He continued his long Friday lunches, that always turned into Friday night drinks, because they were networking opportunities.
Advert
"He had always played Thursday night sport – he didn’t ever even miss one week.”
She said she ‘supported him 100 percent in his role of breadwinner’ for the family, including ‘happily giving him downtime’.
However, he ‘absolutely hated’ telling her what his plans were.
Advert
Quoting herself, the woman said: “Would he be home in time for dinner? Could I book a haircut on a Saturday morning? Was he having drinks with his mates straight from work?
“Who knew – because he certainly refused to tell me. He claimed he didn’t have to.
“It was a weird shift in our marriage that I hadn’t expected – this stubborn reluctance to tell us when he was going to participate in our lives.
“As a result of his disinterest in participating in our adjusted family life, our marriage, where we had once been ‘best friends’ and an equal partnership, floundered.
Advert
“We fought, and fought about it; I just needed something from him to show we made a difference.”
One Friday morning, she came across a text message on his phone, having checked it for him while he was in the shower as it kept on ‘pinging’.
“It was a group message between his sporting club mates about a ‘do over’ that night, after a big post-match session the previous night,” the woman said, recalling how she’d heard him get in at midnight.
He wrote back: “Don’t think I can make it tonight. SWMBO will say no.”
Advert
The woman continued: “I was bemused – what did ‘SWMBO’ mean? It presumably alluded to me – but what did it stand for?
“And also – he hadn’t asked me about that night, so I was annoyed he’d blamed it on me.
“I went into the bathroom with the phone and asked my husband what ‘SWMBO’ meant. He wasn’t mad I’d looked at his phone. He was totally unmoved by having to explain the message to me.
“’It means “She Who Must Be Obeyed”,' he said casually.
“I felt like I’d been slapped in the face.
“It wasn’t a matter of ‘obeying’ me, or asking my permission, as he often complained. It’s not called ‘asking permission’ like he’s a teenager and I’m his mother.”
The woman said she knew ‘in that moment’ that there was ‘no coming back from that’, believing she and her son ‘deserved better’.
“I took my baby and I left my husband the next week,” she wrote.
While some people commented to say the situation was ‘ridiculous’ and that his remark was clearly a ‘joke’, many others defended the woman, pointing out that it had obviously been the ‘final straw’ for her.
“You deserved better and I'm happy you had the courage to leave,” one said.
Someone else agreed: “Good for you, sounds like a wise move.”
Topics: Sex and Relationships
Jess Hardiman