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Topics: Celebrity, Sex and Relationships, Entertainment, Books
Maria Shriver has compared her marriage to Arnold Schwarzenegger to 'a prison'.
Journalist Shriver and actor Schwarzenegger first met back in 1977 before tying the knot in 1986.
The couple were married in a traditional Catholic ceremony in Hyannis, Massachusetts, before they welcomed four children together - Katherine Schwarzenegger Pratt, 35, Christina Schwarzenegger, 33, The White Lotus actor Patrick Schwarzenegger, 31, and Christopher Schwarzenegger, 27.
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However, in May 2011, fans were left in shock after the couple announced they would be splitting.
"Thank you all for the kindness, support and compassion," said Shriver, at the time. "I am humbled by the love. Thank you."
However, in the last few weeks, viewers learned of Shriver's devastating experience from her own words.
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In an excerpt from her biography, I Am Maria - Shriver wrote a poem titled 'At First Love'.
It read: "He smiled, laughed, looked you up and down. It happened before you knew / And then you did / It would take you from there to here / From love and freedom / To pain and prison.
"It all happened at first sight / You fell / Fell hard / You would never ever really be able to reclaim your eyes / Or your heart.
Your eyes have never been the same nor will they ever be / Your heart open then broken."
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In a second poem, Shriver seemed to be referring to the moment she found out that Schwarzenegger had fathered a son with housekeeper, Mildred Baena.
"I heard the words / But I had dissolved I wasn't there," she wrote. "The moment changed everything / Nothing was ever the same again."
Shriver continued: "I had been with Arnold since I was twenty-one years old—my entire adult life.
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“As for me, the feelings I felt at the end of my marriage are hard to put into words. I was consumed with grief and wracked with confusion, anger, fear, sadness, and anxiety. I felt emotionally bereft and disconnected from life as I knew it."
Shriver also penned a poem called 'Letting Go' in which she spoke about moving on from the split.
"He was the last to go and the hardest to let go of," she wrote. "After all I chose him, I chose him to rescue me / Never realizing that in truth I rescued me / I chose him to save me / Never realizing that I would have to save me / I chose him to protect me / But I had to learn that I would need to protect myself."
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The former couple’s legal separation was finalised in 2021 and they maintain a cordial relationship.
While reflecting on the 'mistakes' she made in her life, Shriver said an important one was 'thinking that someone outside of me could guarantee my safety, my worth, and my peace'.
"I've also had to come face to face with other misguided beliefs—about ageing, about being alone," she added. "I used to believe that if you didn’t have a partner, you must be unworthy and unlovable. I've learned that nothing could be further from the truth."
Tyla has reached out to Schwarzenegger's rep for comment.